Get that snake away from me
Julia, 42, was a well-qualified construction engineer by profession. When she came to see me, she was doing odd jobs for a living, mostly cleaning homes. She also did temp work for a local realtor who paid her only when it was convenient.
Julia was tall and thin, with dirty blond, unkempt hair. She was in the middle of an unpleasant relationship. The boyfriend paid her living expenses in exchange for sex. He often made her commit sex acts she did not like; she complied, then felt dirty afterwards.
There had been four prior bad relationships, including two marriages. She had two grown daughters and was already a grandmother of four children. The oldest daughter, at 28, was more like a sister than a daughter.
Julia had two sisters. Her father was an alcoholic who also had some mental health problems. During a hypnotic regression Julia abreacted to an event in which her father sexually abused her. She subsequently revealed that she was sexually abused by her father from the age of five thru 13, when she ran away from home.
Julia was tall and looked older than her age so she was able to find work waiting tables. Before long, the owner of the restaurant took advantage of her. That was how she got pregnant with her first child.
Due to these experiences early in her life, Julia’s understanding of men was distorted. Her impression was that any man who claimed to love her would somehow abuse her. Though married twice, she continued to associate with men who sexually abused her. In a perverse way she craved abuse. Even knowing that she would feel bad and get hurt in the end, she went to bars seeking out men who initially wooed her and eventually hurt her.
She adapted and endured, accepting her circumstance with the persistent belief that it was normal. “Doesn’t every woman go through this? Isn’t it normal to want sex all the time?” she asked me.
During her first hypnotic regression, the five-year-old Julia emerged screaming, “Take that snake out of me! Please don’t! It hurts me, Daddy. No, Daddy, please take your snake out of me.” As I perceived what was occurring, I instructed Julia to freeze the scene.
“Now, Julia, as your 42-year-old self, place your consciousness in the scene and pick up little Julia.” Julia, in deep trance, made arm gestures to hug the child. “Now say after me,” ‘Julia, I am
your grownup self, and I am here to rescue you. I have no excuse to have left you behind. I am here to make it up to you. I came to take you home with me into the future. I promise to love you
every day, keep you safe and I will comfort you when you need. You won’t have to be alone or scared anymore. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Will you please come with me? Will you forgive me?’” (an
example of the soul retrieval process)
Julia sobbed softly while repeating the invitation in short phrases, following my lead. Upon the word “forgive” tears flowed down her cheeks. Healing had begun.
I directed the little Julia to respond. The little girl was also sobbing as she answered, “I am scared. Will you take care of me like you said?”
“Yes,” the adult Julia assured her.
Throughout this Gestalt dialogue, Julia had her arms wrapped around herself as if hugging her child self.
“In a moment, Julia, I will count to three and tap you on the forehead, like this,” as I gently tapped her. “When you feel this tap, I want you to take a deep breath and breathe in all the energies of this, your child-self, and bring her consciousness into your consciousness. Do you understand?” Julia nodded. “OK, here we go. ONE. TWO. THREE.” Tap. Julia took in three deep breaths. “Feel the energy coming from the child back into your body. Pay attention to the energies coming back into your consciousness. The more you receive your child-self back into your body, the more at peace you feel. You feel more and more at peace as you feel your wholeness being restored. You feel whole and peaceful. You feel rejuvenated.”
I allowed some time for the energy transfer. “Tell me, where in your body are you receiving this energy?”
“The energy is coming into my heart, my groin and my hands,” Julia replied softly.
“Tell me, what colors are these energies?” I urged.
Julia frowned for a moment as she focused her imagination on the colors of the energies, then broke into a gentle smile.
“Tell me, what you are feeling right now?”
“I feel warm and safe. The energy coming into my heart is pink. The energy coming in to my groin is red and orange, and the energy coming into my head is purple. They are so pretty. This feels so good.”
“You can continue to breathe slowly, evenly and naturally. The more you receive this energy back, the more whole you feel and the more at peace you feel. Now, say after me… Welcome home little Julia. I have missed you. I will never leave you again. I promise from this day forward I will take good care of you. I will love you every day. And I will protect you so no one can harm you again. I love you, Julia!”
The energy transfer continued as Julia recovered her child-self. I instructed her to let me know when the energy transfer was complete. The pieces of her soul/spirit that were robbed from her as a child were now restored. Julia felt warm and tingly and safe in the chair.
Our work was not done yet. When Julia had recovered her child-self, I instructed her to place her present day (42 years old) consciousness back into the scene where her father was sexually abusing her. She was there now as an adult and not a five year old. She was not scared of her father anymore.
“Now, Julia, what do you want to say to your father? You can say anything you want. You are safe and I am here to help you if you need. But I know you can do this by yourself. Go ahead, let him have it.”
Julia had never spoken to her father in this manner in real life. She was always afraid of him. He was a bully and a drunk. He not only abused Julia, he abused her two sisters as well.
He had mental health problems, drank most of the time and, as far as Julia could remember, he was verbally and physically violent. He was always angry about something, Julia recalled.
Though he had hung himself three years prior to our session, in the trance state Julia found herself in her father’s presence as if he was standing right before her.
Julia let her feelings out at her father. She expressed how she felt unworthy, dirty and scared all those years; the fear that she would never be good enough for someone to love her, who would not abuse her. Her tears flowed. She raged and ranted, and when she was done she sobbed. Julia needed to let go of all the pent up anger and fear.
“Julia, I want you to say after me the following words so you can heal from all this, OK?”
She nodded, then repeated after me, “Daddy, I demand that you return to me all the pieces of my soul that you have stolen from me during all those years you abused me. You are my father, you were supposed to protect me and yet you hurt me. You betrayed me.
“Give me back the pieces of my soul so I can be whole again and so you can heal also. I am doing this whether you like it or not. I am all grown up now and I don’t need your permission. I am doing this because I CAN, I WANT TO and I CHOOSE TO. Give them back to me now!”
“On the count of THREE, Julia, take deep breaths and retrieve the pieces of your soul from your father, who stole them and who stole your innocence. Pay attention to the energies that are being returned to you. As your body receives them, you feel a profound sense of peace come over you. The more you receive your spirit back, the better and more at peace you feel. Tell me where the energies are coming back to you”
Julia, eyes still closed in deep trance, relaxed her body as she reported what was happening. “I feel energy coming back to my lower groin. It is red and orange and warm. I feel energy coming back to my throat and it is a bright blue. It feels cool. I feel energy coming back to into my heart and it is green. It feels really good.”
“Keep breathing slowly and evenly, Julia. The more you recover your soul from your father, the better and more at peace you feel. Tell me when the energy transfer is complete.
“The next thing we are going to do is to release your dad from your consciousness. Are you ready to do this?
“Focus on your father and say after me. Dad I am sending you all the pieces of your soul I have been carrying all of my life. Having these pieces of your soul made me scared of you and everything that you are. I don’t want to keep them anymore. I am returning them to you because I can, I want to and I am choosing to. I am returning these pieces of your soul to you whether you want them or not. When I release you from my consciousness, I will be completely detached from you. You will have no more power over me. When I think of you, you will only be a faded memory. You can no longer hurt me. I am completely free of you!”
After allowing time for this last energy transfer, I counted to three, tapped her third eye and facilitated the soul detachment. Julia felt energies flow out of her head, her groin, and her heart. They were gray and black. In the process of getting rid of these detrimental energies Julia felt lighter and free. Her head became clear and her heart happy. She continued to breathe deeply until all the gray energies were drained from her. When the process was complete Julia broke out into a smile.
As I tapped her forehead, I told her to be her dad. “Address your daughter, Julia. What have you got to say to her?”
Julia turned her head and started to speak in a gruff, low voice. “Julie, baby, I am so sorry for what I have done to you and your sisters. I knew it was wrong but I could not stop myself. I was a bad person and even though I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven, I am going to ask you to forgive me. Can you forgive me, baby?”
Julia shifted in the chair and brushed her hair back, “Dad, what you did was really, really bad. We were only children. How could you abuse us the way you did?”
She then cried like a child for a couple minutes. Then, as abruptly as the child-like sobs had erupted, she straightened up and looked ahead at her father. “Dad, even though you don’t deserve it, I am choosing to forgive you. I forgive you because I can, I want to and I choose to. This way I can be whole again and you can begin to heal. Wherever you are dad, I forgive you. I love you daddy and I hope you loved me too.”
“I love you, Julie, baby. Thank you for forgiving me. I love you, child.”
I asked Julia if she wanted to hug her dad one last time. She nodded and I facilitated a hug. “Let him go now, Julia. Your connection with him is over. Let go and may peace be with both of you.” Julia gradually unfolded her arms, letting her father go.
“Julia, you are now your grown up self. A full grown woman capable of loving and deserving to be loved. Is that so?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Say after me, Julia, ‘I am Julia McDougall. I am a beautiful, loving and healthy woman. That means I can give love and I can receive love wholeheartedly. Every day and in every way it gets easier and easier for me to accept love and to feel safe. I am good enough. God says I am good enough and that is enough.’
After a few moments I terminated the trance state while giving positive suggestions to live a healthy and happy life.
Julia saw me a few more times, but that first session proved to be the most dramatic and had the greatest influence on her life. She went on to change her relationships with men and reorganized her life. She operated her own business for a time, before relocating to be nearer her children and grandchildren.
Names and specific circumstances have been revised to protect the confidentiality of the client.